Sigh. Watched all the binge-worthy programs on Netflix. Surely, there must be something I haven’t seen!

Hmm. What about this? “Tidying up, with Marie Kondo“? Mum tried to convince me to keep up with the tidying… never stuck, though.

Look at this place! What a tip! What would Mum think?

Maybe I do need this Kondo person’s virtual help?!

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All right. So first she says I’m to introduce myself to the space (you’d think it would know me by now!!) and visualize how I’d like it to look. Peaceful, sense of order — like I’ve got my act together!

Okay, but just how does she fold herself down into that kneeling pose? Must be the height differential, mustn’t it? 6’3″ just doesn’t fold as easily as 4’7″ … can’t be because of the creaky old joints of a nearly 50-year-old man!

(No, don’t think about it. Can’t be happening. Must think about the space.)

Oh, I give up! Nice bowl of chocolate ice cream will show the house who I really am…

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Category 1 – Clothing

She wants all the clothes piled together?! Seems a lot messier, though…

How is it possible that someone who hates shopping has this many clothes? Good that Marie Kondo herself isn’t here… she might have been buried under this mountain!

Or maybe it should be me — the king under the mountain! {smirk}

She says the key is to keep only the items that spark joy. Joy from clothes? Not me. More like fear of repercussions from Ilaria if I ditch some of those weirdly-coloured suits —back in the closet they go!

How about my Lucas clothes? Well, I hear the blue matches my eyes and sparks joy in some people. {giggles}

“Richard Crispin Armitage! Show a little modesty, please!”

Sorry, Mum. (Always the voice in my head.)

Ooh! I do like my new Mr. Porter clothes — and the name resonates! Also the outfits I bought for “The Stranger” — works well for the ‘dad bod’.

I guess I can get rid of the old white T-shirts with the stretchy necks. And these sweats and old shoes. Although if anything gives me “joy” it’s the comfy, sloppy clothes. Fine. Out they go.

What’s this old laundry bag? Oh my! It’s my Guy of Gisborne jackets! Wonder if they still fit! … Not bad! Still got it, Armitage! “Richard!” (Sorry, Mum.) Couple of selfies for Instagram.

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Guess I’d have to say that these bring me joy. Loved that character. Put the “bad guy” face to good use.

Okay, enough! Time for a nice cuppa.

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Category 2 – Books

Maybe I can just skip this one… Moving all the piles of books around the house into one big pile really seems counterproductive to me.

All of the piles bring me joy! And some are for work — roles and productions to come — can’t get rid of those! Besides, I kind of like it this way — the lived-in look, with anything I want within easy reach… no harm done! And to be fair, some of them are, in fact, neatly in the bookcase.

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On to the next category!

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Category 3 – Papers

Really? Papers? Sorting through used to be fun when Mum and I did it together. But now…

I do still love to have a little read of the notes from the well-wishers, though. (Aww. Nice!) That always sparks joy!

But as for the rest? No problem packaging them all up and sending them off to the business office!

Done and dusted!

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Category 4 – Komono (Kitchen, Bathroom, Garage)

Kitchen is easy — I already only have what I need! Frying pan, pot to boil my eggs in, roasting pan for a chicken, ice cream scoop, and a few plates, cups and other basics.

No garage… she doesn’t mention the storage room, so my junk pile is safe!!

Now for the bathroom — I bet Kondo has never seen anyone with recording equipment in the bathroom! Bit of an echo in here though.

Wait a minute! What about the wardrobe I cleared out! That oughta do it! Perfect.

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Category 5 – Sentimental Items

But they all bring joy or why would they be called “sentimental items”?!

Besides.. Thorin’s (very big) sword could come in handy for cutting the birthday cake, couldn’t it?

Okay, okay. Here’s the question… do I really need two Sir Guy jackets? No. Asked and answered.

So, if I keep the series 3 jacket, can I really just throw out the other one? If that homeless gent were still nearby, I could gift it to him for warmth, if not joy — that jacket sure was hot!

“Richard… modesty…” No, Mum! Not hot like that!

I know… I wonder if they’re doing another auction for the unmentionable birthday? Might spark some joy for Guy’s fans (fans of the charachter, not the actor, Mum) and generate some funds for LOROS! I can even match the winning bid!

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Just 10 more bits of packing tape oughta do it! Can’t be too careful.

Hope they like the Mr. Porter box!

Wait.. is that a dad joke?

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Wow! What a result! €6,333… doubled! And more for “fan” items!

What wonderful well-wishers I have. LOROS will be pleased.

Mum would be pleased.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RICHARD!