It’s Mother’s Day in my part of the world. Happy Mother’s Day!
My husband brought me home some Spring flowers yesterday and both he and my younger son gave me cards. We are having a chicken done on the barbecue rotisserie tonight. Should be yummy. Probably no wine, though, as I am limiting my sugar intake. Between limiting sugar and carbs, I’ve lost 12 pounds so far! Feeling much better.
I received a text from my older son today, wishing me a happy day… still haven’t seen him in person since October. We are planning to get together in two weeks on my birthday (combining Christmas and his birthday and mine), when my husband and I will both be more than two weeks past our first Pfizer shots and my son will be more than two weeks past his last contact with a guy at work who had dinner with a COVID-positive family member. He didn’t find out until he was at work on the Monday. Apparently, the aunt knew she had COVID, as did the grandparents, but they decided not to tell anyone and to go ahead with the Thursday dinner anyway! What is wrong with people!?
I’ve been managing to take every Sunday off for several weeks, which is really needed. Work has been stressful, particularly as I am coordinating a workplace HR investigation that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. We are using an external consultant, but as I am in the middle of it doing the communicating and coordinating, people seem to want to “shoot the messenger”. Not fun.
In any case, I’m still trying to keep up with my Sunday morning reading before doing any personal chores or paperwork. I’ve even started reading again sometimes in the evenings, which I had not done in a long time. Here is my reading area and my companion who now thinks that this is the place where he gets treats. (I’m a pushover.)
Being a mother is nice and rewarding in many ways and I look back fondly (with rose-coloured glasses?) on when the boys were little. I do miss the handmade gifts and the time we would spend together. (My younger son has finally deigned to watch a movie with me this evening, instead of playing his computer games! Debating between Sound of Metal and Run.)
But I do have to say that I don’t miss the worry and anxiety about keeping them safe and making sure they got through school. That’s not only inherent in being a parent — it is also the result of having an untreated anxiety disorder. Which I am now treating, as part of my quest for health and wellbeing. What a difference. Even my stomach issues have substantially subsided since I started on antidepressants. My doctor wasn’t surprised. Smart guy… he said, “That’s why they say you can feel it in your gut.”
That’s not to say I won’t still worry about them, but hopefully the worry will remain more manageable and allow me to keep focused on feeling better.
Same song I shared last year, but a different version, as she sings to the daughter she wrote the song for.
"Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind Tethered to another and you're worried all the time"